Inspired by the stunning female presence at Grange Road on a rainy Thursday afternoon, the Peterhouse/Selwyn rugby team stormed to a dramatic victory against a decidedly less attractive Clare side, whose lack of charisma, thigh muscle and good chat on and off the pitch doomed them to an undignified loss. Their attempts to win us over with semi-nakedness failed miserably – if you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you haven’t, just don’t. The star of the game was undoubtedly Connor, who having recovered from his Petals-induced alcohol poisoning at the weekend, was the terror of Peterhouse. Paul also deserves a mention, as his long-limbed grace and speed made us gaze upon him with new eyes. And as for Henry – we prefer you a bit dirtier to be honest, but you won our hearts with a display of excitement upon every try only surpassed by – well, us actually. On the Selwyn side of things, lack of knowledge of the rules constrains our analysis, but frankly watching the likes of Harvey, AVH, Grimesy and the inimitable Jake was too much for us. Having been refused the opportunity of a shower with the victorious team (or the losing one, we're not picky), we retreated back to Peterhouse for a much-needed cold shower....bring on Queens! ;)